My husband and I had been afraid to even begin all this with Gage because we "knew" we'd be picked apart as parents, open ourselves up for major criticism, finding our faults and having them displayed right in front of us, and then actually paying (a lot!!) to have all this information. Did we really want to hear this? But we decided this was something we needed help on (ADHD) and we felt it was important enough to invest our money in our own child's health and happiness and do what was best for him, since we were sure he would certainly benefit from the visit(s).
After Gage had been back there with the doctor for almost an hour, the doctor came in to get me, so we could speak in private. This always concerns me for good reason and if you know our history and our complete story, you'll know why! So he takes me back into this area, telling me to keep my voice down, he didn't want Gage to accidentally hear me and have an excuse to come out of the room (where he was left to do some "work" to see if he could complete it unsupervised). With a confused and concerned look he says, "Gage told me something and I have to ask...did he have to call the cops before?" If you know this story, you're probably already smiling, if not, click here. He tells me a very interesting story (I won't go into details 'cause it's not even important) but it ended with Gage being a hero for the day when he saved us all. Anyway, I told him the real story and he got a good chuckle out of it.
Then he tells me this...He says that he was talking to Gage and he asked him if he were magic and could grant Gage three wishes, what would he wish for. For some reason my usual plu
mp face full of dimples fell flat right at that moment. I began watching the doctor because I could no longer hear him. I knew this was it. This is what it all came down to. It appeared the doctor was trying to get Gage to talk about his deafness or his cochlear implants or his syndrome, some of the things that make him unique. I could feel my neck get warm as my blood pressure rose, afraid I was about to hear the news a mother never wanted to hear. My hands shook as my glances shifted around the room trying to occupy my brain with anything other than what my head was telling me. Was he gonna tell me that Gage didn't like being the only deaf kid in his class? Was he gonna say something even worse that would break my heart in two, like maybe he wanted to behave better so his teachers and his mama and daddy didn't get so upset with him? Was he gonna say that he felt Gage might be mistreated by his peers or feel out-of-place somewhere or even worse, feel out-of-place everywhere?
"Just say it!" I wanted to scream as he closed his "forewarning", so I thought...
My mind entered back into the conversation as I could see he was trying to politely tell me he assumed Gage would mention his deafness in his three wish request....
...but instead he tells me, "His three wishes were...he wants a dune buggy, he wants a new four wheeler, and he wants to be a better swimmer." The doctor gives Gage another opportunity to express any concerns he has about being different and tells Gage "suppose you already had all three of those, what would you wish for then?" and again got very normal-age appropriate answers! He said after a while of "other stuff" he asked Gage about his processors, what they were for, and if they hurt? really anything that might spark any concern in that area, and he told me that he (the doc) felt like Gage was like...yea, I have implants, I don't hear without them, I can hear with them, and that's that. It's just part of who he is, not a huge deal.
I felt my chest rise and fall again as I once again started to breathe, not realizing I'd been holding my breath this whole time. I had no idea he was going to ask that question, and I had no idea how Gage would respond to such. So I'm very proud of my little guy! And happy for him, that he's very secure, very open with us. We've never tried to hide much of anything from him and we've tried to teach him to advocate for himself, but unsure if we were doing the right thing. It's nice to have a doctor look at me, and assure me he seems very happy and mentally healthy, when I was afraid he might tell me differently.
All that work over the last few years, of not just preparing my child for the world but preparing the world for my child, has paid off. Patiently changing those hard stares, pointed fingers, and other non verbal and verbal forms of ignorance...to raised eyebrows, smiles and conversations and I now have one of my three wishes....to have healthy and happy children!
