Sunday, May 22, 2011

But I Don't Want To Be Deaf

I posted this on another blog and realized I should have done it here! So this is copied word for word.

Today was our first day back in church. We used to go every single Sunday but our tiny old church lost it's congregation and we all went our separate ways so we have sought after a new one. My idea of church is a small country church (Baptist or Methodist) with lots of songs, a great preacher and a child-friendly congregation and atmosphere. We found it.

As we sat down on the pew, we were automatically welcomed and saw friendly smiles flash our way. Today, it was just my daughter and I and she found a classmate to sit with, I joined them. As we burst into song, I heard hands clapping, feet stomping and people patting the back of pews as we all sang. I heard just the right about of country whine in the voices from was beautiful.

The preacher had us turn to a verse in our Bibles. He read it aloud and that single verse spawned a 45 minute sermon. He stood on the piano bench, he walked down the aisle, he got down on his knees. His voice was so loud at times, I could feel it bounce from my rib cage. He was full of enthusiasm and he assured us, "This ship ain't goin' down!" He talked about WHO should be Captain of our vessels and WHO is there when the water is rough, WHO is guiding us safely and WHO leads us and WHO stays with us when we feel like we are sinking.

I actually found myself shaking my head, getting carried away with the preacher's voice. I found myself crying when the beautiful little girl (almost 4) sitting on our pew sang OUT LOUD the words to a song that I had to read from a hymn book. While visually impaired, she may never be able to see the tiny words of the book but she's already received them through her heart. As tears filled my eyes at the beautiful sight, her mom told me she loves that song and sings if all the time at home. Her little voice could be heard over all others, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of that.

On the way home, Brook asked me how God makes babies. Luckily He gave me the proper words for her 7 year old mind. She then turns to me and says, "Does God make people have syndromes?" And again, he filled my mouth with just the right words. Without hesitation, my voice slipped over lips and answered the tough question.

"Yes. Sometimes, God decides that certain babies are going to be different than His other children. He decides to make them weaker in some areas and stronger in other ways. He decided you and Gage would be deaf." She quickly interrupts, "But I don't wanna be deaf. It's hard to hear!" I reply, "But He made you extra special so you could teach others. Had you not been deaf, so many people would not have learned about hearing loss, patience and understanding. God decided your ears wouldn't work but He's made you stronger in a lot of other ways."

She understood what I was trying to tell her. She now knows that God is the Captain, He is in charge and He sails the ship.


leah said...

Just beautiful, Val. I'm storing this away for when Nolan is older and asks questions - I want to get him a certain book, too (No Small Thing wrote about it here:

You are such a good mama, and your kids are amazing, too!

tammy said...

Beautiful post. I'm storing it away too as this is a day I keep preparing for in my mind but know, I'll never be fully prepared. It will just have to come from the heart. Now I need to go find a tissue to wipe my eyes.

Susannah said...

ditto to tammy and leah.