Sunday, April 25, 2010

Caution...

So last night, out of nowhere Brook says,"Mama, on the bus and in the lunchroom, people were laughing at Gage's ears."
silence
"How do you know? Did he hear them?"
"No, but I saw them pointing and laughing."
Me: giving the laughing child the benefit of the doubt, "maybe they were smiling at him for other reasons."
Brook: "No, it was his ears."
With flames in my eyes (a mother's natural reaction) I tell her, "You need to tell the teacher monitoring the lunchroom that! Don't let someone sit there and point and laugh at him!"
"I did, I said that girl was smiling at Gage and Mrs. M said maybe they were being friendly." But Brook knew better.
We talked about how it was not nice to run and tell a person that they are being made fun of, that accomplishes nothing more than hurting their feelings. I explained to her that she didn't give the teacher all of the information. I know how the bus can be as well. That bus driver will do nothing. I don't make my kids ride it unless it is a necessity! However, my kids, average ears or not, need to learn to show appropriate reactions, stand up for themselves and each other, just like we all had to do. And all I'm saying is....you don't want to mess with this....
If she says to stop laughing, my advice would be to stop laughing. She has the ability to move from sad to mad really really quick. I've known her for six years. This will likely serve as one of her best qualities if used properly. She will likely be a really really good friend to have on your side, she's got your back...but if you cross her...

14 comments:

ann said...

Just like her Mama,Nanny& Sissy

leah said...

Brook is going to be one heck of an advocate. I love that spunky little girl!

Shame on the adults for not monitoring situations more closely!

Anonymous said...

as a public school kid myself. I'm afraid the teasing will not stop. It's real. Do not deny.

Anonymous said...

oh, I just wanted to let you know... your child probably already know the kids are laughing at him. I always did. I'm afraid this isn't something that can be easily brushed off or deal with like lazy eyes. It affect him in whole because deafness is part of his personality, part of his language, etc. All his hard work to become hearing will shatter into pieces. Because he work hard for them to fit into their world, and this is what he get in return. It hurts for life because you continue to be deaf and it just doesn't get better.

Val said...

really is about his anatomy not hearing loss...

Tiffani Hill-Patterson said...

There are always going to be mean kids. Whether our kids are deaf, have CIs, use spoken language, ASL or have other differences, they still have to learn to stand up for themselves.

You are great at teaching them to advocate for themselves and each other.

Hugs!

Anonymous said...

I know it is about the way he look. They know he is deaf but still decide to laugh at his ears anyway. I didn't have to say a single thing. All they had to see my hearing aids and I became the butt of their jokes. It never was about hearing loss with me either. It was about people putting people down to build themselves up. But the only thing is, His identity is deaf, always have and always will, and people can made deaf people feel bad about who they are.

Prince Andrew and the Queen Mum said...

Was just talking to a friend yesterday how we were made fun of a ton growing up. (heatlh issues too.) my little brother used to stand up for me. i love that kid. I think that will always be there (unfortunately) whether it is ears or whatever ...kwim? and so it is trying to figure out how to teach our kids how great they are. and even at an early age, tell others to pass the bean dip. To stick up for themselves when needed and then to just 'pass' when they know there is little hope for changing someone. ;)

Anonymous said...

That's true. I just wanted to point out it doesn't help when people fail to acknowledge that people really do laugh at them.

It make it harder to have self confidence so they are scare to mention anything about hearing issues. And become a problem to the point that every struggle you have (yeah, I know, I know, the same tiring arguing that CI kids can hear) , the back of your mind wondered if they are just laughing at the situation (awkward feeling) or laughing at you (because of the teasing) because you misunderstood.

Anonymous said...

We talked about how it was not nice to run and tell a person that they are being made fun of, that accomplishes nothing more than hurting their feelings>>>>> I questioned this for deaf people who can't hear noisy places very well and people are laughing at him without his knowledge. If they were hearing, they hear it and learn to deal with it. I more disppointed with people who withhold such information as this because I look like a fool in front of hearing people. Everyone knows what is going on except me. How humiliating! Deaf people do not need to be sheltered . They need to face it. Now if these mean people were doing this when I'm NOT around, then I say it there's no need to say anything.

Amy said...

I believe that kids can and will find things to tease about, regardless of whether the recipient is deaf. Anon, many of us have similar childhood memories and we had no "visible" issue. This is not a deaf issue, a hearing aid issue, a cochlear implant issue... sadly, it's what kids sometimes do and what we all work against as we teach our children manners and how to love one another.

Anonymous said...

I highly doubt that one person with disability/differences want to be treated the same as another disability/differences. You can teach kids manners and love doesn't help because they are still denial of who they are. They want acceptence.

so you can say " I was treated the same way" doesn't help. It doesn't help people learn about compassion if they won't take interest in each individual at a time and accept them. In a way, it denial. Love and manner have been told for many years, but it have done anything. Just saying. That's all I'm going to say. Thanks.

Christie said...

Whoah boy... You know I dealt with bullying from kids at this school all the time when I was little, and to hear he is being bullied like that makes fire come to my eyes... Go Brooke! You are truly a girl after my own heart! You take up for your bro girl! I did... I just love her...

Danielle said...

Good for you brooke! Your a good advocate.

Somehow I really hope all laughing, making fun of and bullying STOPS!!!!