Thursday, November 13, 2008

Tasting the Clouds


If you've read my book I'm All Ears then you may recall a story about how the road to school one day turned out to be an amazing journey, when we simply took things in from a different perspective. Well today when I left my house and realized how overwhelming the fog actually was, my mind went back a few years when I was driving in the fog....

When you have a child who is diagnosed with a disability (any disability), you first might feel a panic set in...how the heck are we going to get where we need to go? Some people let the fog consume them and they turn away, never even looking at it, into it, or through it...but you decide to get in the car and drive, because you HAVE to. As you venture out of your comfort zone, you look cautiously in each direction before you pull onto the road. You hold your breath, just hoping you've made a good decision, even though you can only see those things that are nearby. You listen to everything, hoping you'll get some clues to see if you're even on the road, or if you're headed for a ditch. Then you begin to see little white or yellow lines in the road and you know you're on your way. With focused eyes you press the gas a little harder, earning some confidence. Then you begin to see headlights and you take comfort in knowing where the others are, and you press the gas a little harder. You look down to make sure you have your lights on, so people know you are there, and you press the gas a little harder. At times you have to slow to an almost crawl, but that's okay, you're making some progress...other times you feel like you're in the clear only to run into another patch of fog later on. But that's okay too because you're getting the hang of it. You see that other brave people are driving too.
I slip back into reality when my darling daughter asks me if there are any pink leaves. I tell her "I don't know honey, I've never seen a pink leaf," and I smile hoping I haven't crushed her with disappointment, I know she believes in pink leaves.

I drop her off at school and head over to the local park for my daily walk. I tell myself that I need to think about what I want to say tonight at the Cochlear Workshop but the beauty of the park sends me into dreamland once again. I go back to the car to get my camera, knowing there was another story coming. I look over and the only visitor at the park today was Squirrel.

He looked at me, and I at him and using telepathy I tell him "go ahead Squirrel, take your nut..." and I stop to listen. I hear Sparrow (and I kid you not!) I smile and continue walking, enjoying the Sparrow's song. The park is so beautiful, my favorite trees are decorating the sidewalk with the most beautiful blanket of colors....

Some trees have been so generous, they stand there almost naked, devoting themselves for my optic pleasure. I suddenly stop in the middle of the sidewalk, ask myself why in the world am I walking in this direction...I always walk in the same direction because that's the unwritten rule of the walkers at the park...it's just how it is. Well today, there are no other walkers, so what is stopping me from walking in the other direction? Out of spite, I do a 180 since there's no one there to tell me I'm going the wrong way...Though the fog is less dense here, you can still feel the dampness in the air. I open my mouth as I wonder what it's like to taste the clouds. The cool, moist air slides down my throat and fills my lungs with peace. I continue the most beautiful walk ever when I notice something out of the corner of my eye.

Sometimes, it's great to be going in a different direction. You see things that you've never seen before. Enjoy the fog my friends, taste the clouds, and believe in pink leaves.

6 comments:

Danielle said...

beautiful. Just wanted to let u know everyday i look forward and enjoy reading your blogs. your a great writer. You should write another book. Keep us updated about tonights meeting im looking forward to hearing information. Good luck at the meeting.

Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Are you pregnant? You must be pregnant, you're starting to scare the shit out of me with these profound moments. Be careful, Val...

Val said...

NO! not pregnant just insane...lol

Nicole said...

Beautifully written!

Dr.Rutledge said...

Hi Val,
I'm an academic physician (formerly at Harvard and Stanford) who found your blog while looking for the best health writers. I think your writing is great! I would like to feature you in the Hearing Loss & Deafness Community on Wellsphere, a top 10 health website that has well over 2 million visitors monthly.

If you would like to learn more, just drop me an email to Dr.Rutledge@wellsphere.com

Celeste said...

That was beautiful, thank you for sharing!