Friday, January 16, 2009

the POWER of deaf children

This is primarily written as a warning to new parents of special needs children, or maybe it's documentation that I once was a somewhat sane individual on a slow decline with mental strain. Should I end up in an institution one day, I hope someone reads this back to my children as proof that I have earned every single gray lock, I one day will wear atop my temporarily blond head. Pictures will never show the deviance in these children. I'll bet you think he looks innocent playing with his Legos, and oh, don't she look cute in those leg warmers! So Gage has developed a new power. This power could be seen at one of the three visits to the Allergist this week (and the nurse there can verify!!) Now, you have to believe me on this, though you probably won't..again giving him more power! He's been telling people, when he's a little displeased with me or doesn't get his way, that "Hey, she said a bad word!!" Just like that, out of the blue, sooooo embarrassing. This time I was ready though and I didn't allow him to gain strength. The first time it happened, we were getting out (in a hurry) to go potty at a local fast food restaurant when Brook just couldn't make it the three miles farther to school. Gage nearly hit the car next to us, and woops...I may have dropped one of the better(if any are better) four letter words. He wasn't supposed to SEE me, I knew he couldn't hear it but yes, I was busted. So to get me back, as we entered the restaurant and had to wait patiently while an elderly lady and her even more elderly friend or mom tried to get their walkers out of the door, Gage says with great pride "She said a bad word!" Just when you hope someone is hard of hearing, they in fact smile at him and I shake my head in shame and enter the restaurant. He tried this again, even though I've learned my lesson and this time I was falsely accused (and he knows it!!).
Now on to the new power he's acquired. It's quite obvious he knows how to read lips well, especially mine. Sometimes I even have to translate for my husband since he's so used to reading me. He's decided to conveniently either not look when I tell him to do things (like pick up after himself) or he looks at me very puzzled and almost believable to the untrained eye. I told him four words yesterday..."Clean up your room" and I was pointing to his room. I even signed a /k/ sound for Clean so he could see it better and still I get a very puzzled "what, I can't hear, I don't understand??" He accidentally let a sly grin show when I called him out on it. It amazes me how much power a child tries to obtain. And remember, this is the child who was doing his own flushes at the hospital, because he convinced the nurses they couldn't do it right! So for you new parents, who think you'll remain "in control", I have sad news for ya, the power of a deaf children is far greater than I feared. We parents give up a lot when our new bundles of joy arrive. You give us 12 Dr's visits in a week and we'll be there with bells on remembering who goes where and when. But that all comes w/sacrifice. The human mind can only withstand a certain amount of information so we Moms let non pertinent information our age, our weight, our birthdays, sometimes our pin numbers and passwords, but it's all for the sake of the children. Try to remember that God gave them to you for a reason, you might as well at least be able to laugh at it all...and as long as we all know they are here to sometimes drive us nuts, we'll be okay. Good luck!


Jodi Cutler Del Dottore said...

Devil child.


Tiffani Hill-Patterson said...

I so love reading about your kiddos. You should write a book. Oh, wait ... you did! ;-)


Naomi said...

oh so so true Val. I tell my kids my mind is like a full memory stick now, if I have to add anything new, something else gets deleted!

With you on the fact we love them to bits, but they are sent here to drive us nuts - insanity - you get it from your kids!!

Shehuntstoo said...


(Jesse's mom)

Kel said...

Love it! Your kids, Gage especially, are such awesome people. (And you are too, of course!)

mishkazena said...

LOL! That's kids, Deaf or not ;)

How is he doing, btw?

Karen Putz said...

My youngest kiddo was my quiet kid-- didn't pick up speech until a very late age. How appropriate that he picked up the "s" word and let us know loud and clear.

leahlefler said...

Oh, the little bugger! Not funny to you at the time, I'm sure, but for us it is hilarious.

Maybe we should all take out stock in Loreal with the things our kids put us through!

Loudest Mom said...

Totally agree, and trust me, sans highlighting, I'm getting a whole lotta those gray suckers.

Anonymous said...

LOL! these kids are HILLARIOUS!! I don't know how you do it. Seems like Gage needs school EMERGENCY! He's got you around his little finger, but is adorable as ever.
Don't Despair!
Hang in dear!
Your getting there!
G'luck- love ya guys.

Ambulance Mommy said...

I just found you through Deaf Village, and this post totally made me laugh and cry at the same time. My 2 year old already knows to turn his bad ear to me if he doesnt feel like listening. How on EARTH did he figure that out already? :) We just started this week holding his cheeks and making him look at us when we are telling him no. But I can see what the future has in store for us!!!