Thursday, September 20, 2012
Cutting the Cord
...but there comes a time when you have to cut the cord. We've worked awfully hard to prepare our kids for the world, and we've worked awfully hard to prepare the world for our kids, so by this age, they have to learn to solve many issues on their own. I will be here for as long as I can to help them when they can't, but there comes a time in everyone's childhood when you learn to face things such as misunderstandings with friends and teachers (hearing loss or not) without Mom having to spend all of her energy every single day worrying about the kids. I have put my trust in the "raising" I have given them and hope that even when they do make mistakes, misjudge, or find themselves on the receiving end of the misjudgement or misinterpretation, that they can talk things out and clear up the wrong.
I have one child that isn't scared or afraid to clear things up, even with adults but she gets mad quick if people don't listen to her so that's what we are working on with her...staying calm, even when the hearing don't listen. I will gladly step in after she's tried her best to resolve issues and I'm very glad she has a strong personality and isn't scared to 'fix' things.
I have another child however, who will only do this to some degree, then he gets scared and runs to me..."write my teacher a note and tell him..." he says. I finally told him one day when he was accused of misbehaving in the bathroom (which is not really characteristic of him, but he's 11-and I live with him, he's capable of anything!)..."No. I can't go running up there or write notes and emails for everything little thing you face. If you are scared to talk to him about it, YOU write a note." I let him know that it's okay to apologize to someone, even if you aren't in the wrong. If they think you are, apologize and move on-forgive them and hope they forgive you...there is a much bigger picture. Sitting around worrying all time about every little thing isn't fun, isn't productive, and according to The Bible, isn't very Christian. You give your worries to The Lord and the trust and faith you have in Him should be enough to move on. I have to remind myself of this too sometimes. It sure feels good though when you've truly let go and let God.
So he wrote a note. It said something like, "I am sorry you got upset with me yesterday. I do not play around in the bathroom, I handle my business and get out..."
It went on a little more but that's what it took for him to move on. Everything was fine, and he didn't have to sit and worry about it anymore. They are growing up...so fast. But so glad they are starting to solve some things on their own. It takes a tremendous weight off of me as a mom. I'll always worry, but giving them coping skills is a benefit to us all.